you got mail from Germany
My name is Elli, I’m 17 yrs old and have been working out for about 1,5 yrs now.
I read on your website, that you suffered from an eating disorder and your mind change from one extreme (bones) into the other (muscles) happened quite abruptly. Well, I totally recognized myself in your words:
“When I was 12 years old, I was on a diet for the very first time.”
“I always had a great smile on my face at school and at home to keep people away from me.”
“I hurt so many of my friends in order to be able to keep doing what I did.”
“At first, I was disgusted by the athletic and muscular models, but the more I looked at them, the more I found them beautiful and attractive.”
“I bought a gym membership and started to work out the 26th of Mars, 1999. I talked with the trainer about bodybuilding and he told me I had just the right genetics to be competitive in this sport.”
I first thought about dieting, when I was 11 and I slid down into an severe ED at the age of 13. Anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating, I’ve been through all of these things when I accidentally entered the local gym on the 24th of March 2006. This step changed things in all respects. My major aim became transforming into the perfect opposite of what I had “lived for” in the past years. Suddenly I wanted to be healthy again, to FEEL healthy and above all: to be able to look in the mirror and see something I can call my work. To be skinny you don’t have to work, it’s not an admirable archievement, you just have to stop eating and lead your body into destruction, it’s poor. But muscles… well they won’t grow by doing nothing, you have work hard and above all: you have to join forces with your body. This thought became something like a manifestation in my mind, so I began working out, maybe a little overambitious, but the results I got were worth it. The training helped me to developed a new way of percepting my body,
Soon (I was still working with 20reps for 9 months then) I was told, I had good genetics and should switch to 8-12reps to gain more muscle mass. My trainer Silvio was not pleased of my wish (too young, bla bla) and refused to support me. Fortunately I had a friend to help me, he is a BB too and knows his stuff quite well, so I “dismissed” my trainer and started that project on my own.
BTW my broken relationship with Silvio has improved again, although we had some really bad argument in the past… in his eyes my weights were far to heavy for my age and gender.
Now we even work out together, seems like both of us learned to respect the others view and he realized, that he cannot chance my mind anymore. He said “Elli, you’re obsessed”. Well yeah, of couse I’m obsessed, who is not? I’m obsessed with muscles, with weights… but I will never go beyond my body’s capacity, I do not want to destroy it, that’s past.
I remember a quote of yours… “When I work out, my ambition is to push my body harder and harder every time to see how much it can take, how much pressure it can stand.” Yep Pauline, that’s a true word.
Hehe, well that was my story. What I finally want to say is: Thank you. Thank you for being what you are. You impressed me so much, when I first saw a picture of you on the internet about a year ago. To be honest, you were the one who gave me the key impulse to go for bodybuilding.
I have this quote and some of your pictures on my pinboard, it always remembers me of the beginnings and it is always a reminder to me: two women who made their way from ED to BB, from self-destruction to self-contruction. Now if that isn't a remarkable achievement…
I attached a photo of mine, hmm… when you look at it keep in mind, that you had+have a good part in the recovery and motivation of that girl. And for that she is really really grateful to you.
I would be so happy, if you would write back, perhaps a small note…
Best wishes (for whatever you have going on at the moment) and Good night from (nocturnal) Germany!
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c276/schattenpix/normal_obb170206a.jpg (my BB friend, who helped me so much)
FalseProphet / Website (24.8.07 01:13)
Darf ich bitte sabbern...
FalseProphet38 / Website (25.8.07 01:24)
Nimmst du mir nicht ab? Is aber so. ich wär froh wenn ich so von hinten aussehen würde >.<